“I don’t know if on your walks you have noticed a long, narrow pool beside the river. Some fishermen must have dug it, and it is not connected with the river. The river is flowing steadily, deep and wide, but this pool is heavy with scum because it is not connected with the life of the river, and there are no fish in it. It is a stagnant pool, and the deep river, full of life and vitality, flows swiftly along.
Now, don’t you think human beings are like that? They dig a little pool for themselves away from the swift current of life, and in that little pool they stagnate, die; and this stagnation, this decay we call existence. That is, we all want a state of permanency; we want certain desires to last for ever, we want pleasures to have no end. We dig a little hole and barricade ourselves in it with our families, with our ambitions, our cultures, our fears, our gods, our various forms of worship, and there we die, letting life go by—that life which is impermanent, constantly changing, which is so swift, which has such enormous depths, such extraordinary vitality and beauty.”
— J. Krishnamurti
“Our education, our environment, our whole culture insists that we must become something. Our philosophies, our religions and sacred books all say the same thing.
But now I see that the very process of becoming something implies envy, which means that I am not satisfied with being what I am; and I want to understand what I am, I want to find out why I am always comparing myself with another, trying to become something; and in understanding what I am there is no need for discipline.
In the process of that understanding, integration comes into being. The contradiction in me yields to the understanding of myself, and this in turn brings an action which is integral, whole.”
— J. Krishnamurti
Photos from my walk up the east side of Mosquito Creek with the new Sony ZV-1.
Tonight’s 6:15pm sunset came as a surprise. I’m welcoming in the long, slow nights.
I think about the younger me and how much I got in my own way.
The early-20s me who spent so much time wrestling with himself in his own mind.
The passionate me who could be both wildly idealistic and deeply insecure in a single moment.
The me who dreamed of living a diverse and fulfilling life, but found everything about his current reality to be somewhat off—never truly at ease.
If I could reach back in time and offer my younger self something of value, what might that be?
I might say: what you are searching for is inside you. Don’t forget that. No matter how alluring the outside world may become, be true to yourself. Slow down. Listen closely.
I would also tell him that I still need these kinds of reminders.
You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.
Franz Kafka
A great breakthrough in coaching is like coming to the surface to breathe after spending so long underwater you forgot you were holding your breath.
Stu and I had a lot of fun building on our guided retreat concept this morning.
We’re envisioning a collection of videos with movement practices, reflection exercises and meditations that could be used over the course of 3 days. One day each exploring the past, the present and future.
We also plan to share this with anyone interested in cultivating their own creativity and well-being. I’d love to have it available for December and the turning of the new year.
I have clients who are planning to rent their own cabin on the water and use this during to create a sort of solo retreat for themselves. We also imagine anyone who simply wants to integrate it into their daily life, without having to travel anywhere, would love it.
Here are some notes from the conversation (except the “LOVE IS EVERYWHERE” diagram, which was from a client call yesterday):
“Only the idea of death makes a warrior sufficiently detached so that he is capable of abandoning himself to anything. He knows his death is stalking him and won’t give him time to cling to anything. So he tries, without craving, all of everything.”
— Carlos Castaneda
All too often our preferences prevent us from giving all of ourselves to this, here, now. We would rather be doing such and such with so and so.
Thoughts appear in the mind out of nowhere, and of their own volition.
Our role, it seems, is to choose which ideas to focus on. Which thoughts to empower with our awareness and concentration.
When asked how he knows which ideas to follow and which to leave behind, David Lynch responded: Love.
A prolific creator, he has a few more nuggets of wisdom in this short video.
Last week Peter, a client of mine, shared a beautiful insight.
“I feel most powerful when I allow myself to visualize the greatest possibility I can imagine for my work or my projects, while releasing any attachment I might have to it happening."
I smiled. I felt my heart expand.
Tell me more, I said.
“I fully play out the ultimate dream in my mind, I really feel into it, and then once I am able to experience it internally, I fully release the need for it to happen.
My brother Will is a remarkable performer. I don’t remember a time in our childhood when he wasn’t singing, playing the piano and entertaining.
Last year he organized a concert here in Vancouver. Several close friends of his were invited to perform for an audience of 200+ people.
A few weeks before the event, Will asked if I would join him on stage and sing.
I laughed at first.
“I don’t sing,” I reminded myself inside my head, before Will had even finished asking me.
I recently attended my first virtual networking event and had an unexpected breakthrough.
The event was unique—not only was it online, but the organizers integrated mindfulness and movement practices into the experience.
So shortly after the event kicked off, a dance instructor came on screen.
She asked us all to stand up and make space around ourselves.
She was smiling from ear to ear with a huge white sweater that said “LOVE” across the front of it.
I started a simple daily writing habit that escalated pretty quickly into a vision for a book!
It’s going to be a book for ambitious people on how to transform stress into productive energy. I’m writing it because a lot of people with big goals suffer way more than they need to (I used to be one of them).
Most people don’t understand the real cause of their stress, though: themselves.
I decided to chat with Open Dialogue between meetings and the first thing it said to me created an immediate internal shift:
Open Dialogue A.I.: Welcome back. What’s on your mind?
Me: something about my desire for growth, progress and expansion
Open Dialogue A.I.: Do you celebrate the things you do have?
I paused. That wasn’t the response I was expecting.
I thought about how much growth I have been experiencing in my life already. I closed my eyes and felt into a moment of internal celebration.
Then a knock at my office door. It was my girlfriend.
She came in and we spent a few minutes together laughing and sharing some ideas.
I have so much to celebrate.
Mr. Wonka: “Don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted."
Charlie Bucket: “What happened?"
Mr. Wonka: “He lived happily ever after.”
— Ronald Dahl
Dad and me, circa 2016.
“Life is hard when you don’t do what you truly value because you are putting all your energy into trying to get rid of your fears rather than into materializing your dreams.
When you’re stuck within your comfort zone, life becomes stifling—and therefore, very uncomfortable!
In a paradoxical way, the easy life includes the experience of discomfort. It is when we try to avoid naturally occurring pain or discomfort that life becomes difficult.”
