I love running in the rain and getting completely drenched. Today I got my fix when I was out running with Mike Rebak.

The catalyst was Mike’s commitment to run 3.2KM every day in November. He’s raising funds and awareness for Movember, with a specific focus on mental health.

I felt invigorated throughout most of the run, and I think he did, too. We made it nearly 6KM from our starting point before turning back.

The other day Mike (a self-proclaimed “couch potato” before starting this campaign) spontaneously ran a half marathon.

He has a lot to say on the topic of mental health—he’s disappointed and frustrated with the state of the healthcare system where we live. And he’s dedicated to making a difference.

I doubt many people will see this post, but if you’re interested in supporting Movember and Mike’s cause, here is a link to the donations page 😊

Can’t wait to dive into this tonight.

This past week I led two workshops at Arc’teryx, an iconic company founded here in Vancouver.

The goal of these workshops was to help their leaders cultivate the essential skills of coaching.

So what did I ask 100+ passionate leaders and aspiring coaches to do?

Listen.

Just Listen.

In fact, I asked everyone to find a partner, and for two minutes one of the two partners would share their greatest challenge at work.

During those two minutes, the other partner was asked to listen, without talking at all. Even if there was a moment of silence. Even if the speaker seemed stuck. The listener’s purpose was to hold space and listen generously.

The feedback after the workshop was unanimous—being listened to without interruption (nor being given any advice) was a gift.

I share all this as a simple invitation to bring more awareness to how you are listening in the most important relationships in your life.

What’s being said that you’re not hearing?

I did an exercise over the weekend where I had to come up with 100 questions that fascinated me most. I love questions because they can open up entirely new perspectives for us.

The first 10 were easy to generate, the next 20 little bit less so, but I kept digging and digging and digging until I finally came up with 100.

The last step was to sift through these 100 questions and choose the 10 most important ones—the ones that I want to orient my life around.

The 10 questions that fascinate me the most right now are:

Over the past couple years I’ve completely shifted how I work with my own difficult (i.e., “negative”) emotions.

Until recently, I never questioned anyone when they labelled feelings like anger, guilt and depression as “bad”. I thought that if what I really wanted was to be happy, then I should do anything and everything to make myself feel better.

But I didn’t always know what was required to remedy the situation, and even if I made some progress, it always seemed temporary. When I was living in Toronto, for example, I tried so many things to overcome my feelings of depression and guilt. Sometimes I’d think I found the solution, coming out of a funk for a few days or weeks, only to crash back down and be utterly stuck.

The strategy, most simply put, has always been to “fix” or “change” myself. These difficult emotions were demonized and avoided at all costs.

What I am learning through my research, self-experimentation and coaching is that these difficult emotions are, in fact, gifts.

Instead of fighting them off, if we can experience them more fully—without judgement or wanting them to change or any condition whatsoever—we stand to learn so much about ourselves. This is the path to greater peace of mind, too.

I’m noticing there are emotional themes that seem to run throughout my entire life—fear, guilt and depression or apathy are the staples for me.

My experiences with these emotions range in intensity, of course, and the external circumstances that seem to cause them are varied. But I am more aware than I have ever been of how familiar the “tone” (I’m struggling to find the right word for that) is of each emotion.

I’m practicing sitting with these emotions whenever they arise. Letting them “do their thing”, so to speak, without imposing my agenda in any way, shape or form.

Combined with journalling and meditation, this practice has created an incredible shift in my life.

I’m seeing the same thing happen for coaching clients of mine. This new way of looking at difficult emotions is teaching us to embrace personal responsibilty and is empowering us to respond more consciously to every aspect of our lives.

I’m 9 weeks into The Presence Process, which has been one of the great influences of this shift in my perspective. I would highly recommend to anyone who wants to explore these ideas more for themselves.

Hello World

I want to be more intentional about how I approach my own personal growth. By taking more time to contemplate and document my efforts to learn and grow (i.e., meditation, self reflection, books, videos, courses, coaching, life experiences) I believe I can extract greater and more lasting insights. I hope to be able to make an even greater contribution to others, as well. And so I’ll be sharing as many of my questions and insights here going forward.

Continue reading →

Some beautiful moments from the past few months

I spent this past weekend in deep contemplation. Sandie is travelling for work (in Mexico), so I had the place to myself. I used a series of questions and prompts from Leo Gura to dig deeper and deeper into what is most important to me in life.

Here is what I currently value most in life:

  1. Consciousness/Awareness
  2. Health/Vigor/Energy
  3. Connection
  4. Wisdom
  5. Self-Expression
  6. Helping Others
  7. Nature
  8. Creativity
  9. Playfulness/Spontaneity
  10. Simplicity

Slow Down #minfulness #meditation

Watch our for how your need to be perfect makes everyone else around you seem needy.

Poet Ross Gay wrote a short essay every day for a year on the topic of delight. It fascinates me how it seems to have conditioned him to experience delight in almost everything.

🔊 Speaking with Krista Tippett on her podcast On Being, they contrast his experience with the impact that the media — its fixation being on despair — can have on a person.

📹 Here he reads a funny essay called “Tomato On Board" from the collection of essays The Book of Delights

It was Warren Springer’s surprise 30th birthday party on Wednesday night (July 24). So many positive and loving people.

“Do you yearn to defend your beliefs? Or do you yearn to see the world as clearly as you possibly can?” — 📹 Julia Galef at TED

What are you seeing that I am not?

📝 How are you feeling right now?

Last weekend 7 of us hiked into the Mt. Seymour backcountry to camp at Elsay Lake. The 5.5-hour hike was serene.

We set up our tents along the edge of the lake beneath the tall trees and spent the evening playing Mafia and solving math problems by the fire.

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“I wouldn’t put off getting to the joyful part.” — unknown

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stuck, 🔗 this website (youfeellikeshit.com) is a great resource to turn to. It’s “a self-care game” that guides you through a series of questions to help you practice self care.

Stop racing around for just a few seconds and notice how rich this moment is.

Take a deep breath. Hold on to it for a second or two. And then let it go.

Do that again.

That feels pretty good, doesn’t it?

Take another deep breath. Pause for a second at the top of your inhalation. And then let it all go.

Try bringing a little smile to your face. It’s not weird. No one’s going to make fun of you.

You’re wonderful. Keep smiling. It suits you.

Celebrate the fact you remembered. Don’t punish yourself because you forgot.

When you’re sitting in meditation and realize you’ve been lost in thought…

… celebrate the fact you remembered to come back to your breath. Don’t punish yourself because you forgot about your breath.

When you catch yourself being overly judgemental of others or making comparisons…

… celebrate the fact you remembered that this only creates more separateness. Don’t punish yourself because you forgot.

When you celebrate the moments when you remember your original intention, you’re training your mind to course-correct more efficiently in the future. When you punish yourself for forgetting, you’re doing the opposite.