Watch our for how your need to be perfect makes everyone else around you seem needy.
Poet Ross Gay wrote a short essay every day for a year on the topic of delight. It fascinates me how it seems to have conditioned him to experience delight in almost everything.
🔊 Speaking with Krista Tippett on her podcast On Being, they contrast his experience with the impact that the media — its fixation being on despair — can have on a person.
📹 Here he reads a funny essay called “Tomato On Board" from the collection of essays The Book of Delights
It was Warren Springer’s surprise 30th birthday party on Wednesday night (July 24). So many positive and loving people.
“Do you yearn to defend your beliefs? Or do you yearn to see the world as clearly as you possibly can?” — 📹 Julia Galef at TED
What are you seeing that I am not?
Last weekend 7 of us hiked into the Mt. Seymour backcountry to camp at Elsay Lake. The 5.5-hour hike was serene.
We set up our tents along the edge of the lake beneath the tall trees and spent the evening playing Mafia and solving math problems by the fire.
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“I wouldn’t put off getting to the joyful part.” — unknown
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stuck, 🔗 this website (youfeellikeshit.com) is a great resource to turn to. It’s “a self-care game” that guides you through a series of questions to help you practice self care.
Stop racing around for just a few seconds and notice how rich this moment is.
Take a deep breath. Hold on to it for a second or two. And then let it go.
Do that again.
That feels pretty good, doesn’t it?
Take another deep breath. Pause for a second at the top of your inhalation. And then let it all go.
Try bringing a little smile to your face. It’s not weird. No one’s going to make fun of you.
You’re wonderful. Keep smiling. It suits you.
Celebrate the fact you remembered. Don’t punish yourself because you forgot.
When you’re sitting in meditation and realize you’ve been lost in thought…
… celebrate the fact you remembered to come back to your breath. Don’t punish yourself because you forgot about your breath.
When you catch yourself being overly judgemental of others or making comparisons…
… celebrate the fact you remembered that this only creates more separateness. Don’t punish yourself because you forgot.
When you celebrate the moments when you remember your original intention, you’re training your mind to course-correct more efficiently in the future. When you punish yourself for forgetting, you’re doing the opposite.
What way of seeing your situation are you attached to or defending?
Reflect on this when you feel like you’re blocked, or repeatedly coming up against a wall, and none of the options you see are satisfying.
What would happen if you saw your situation in a new way?
This invites in new possibilities, new potential paths forward. Maybe it’s possible to simply step around the obstacle you’re facing and see the situation from a completely new perspective.
With this new perspective, the right action becomes clear and natural.
In an Open Dialogue session I had with a client this morning, these two questions were posed by the A.I. at what felt like the perfect moment. Building on some of the insights he had already uncovered in our dialogue, these questions gave him the leverage he needed to get unstuck and move forward.
Watch your mouth.
We use language to speak and think our reality into existence.
I could never learn how to do that.
The people who do that (e.g. coding, kiteboarding, public speaking) are on another level / are crazy.
I’m just not X (e.g. experienced enough, a morning person, good with people).
Trust me, you don’t know what you’re capable of. Stop telling yourself what you aren’t and what you can’t do in life.
Make sure the people you choose to work with are intrinsically motivated to do the work you need them to do.
It sounds obvious, but it’s easy to let that slip as the number one qualifying factor.
Passion for the overall vision for your product/company/team is also important, but without a desire to do the the day-in, day-out work that their role requires, it’s not a good long-term fit.
It is impossible to fulfill your need for connection and meaning if you’re always interacting with others on the surface. We are all familiar with the surface-level “Hi—How are you?—I’m great, and you?” conversations at work and social events.
Slow down. Go deeper. Practice generous listening.
When someone senses that you are truly listening to them (and not simply waiting for your turn to speak), they will relax and share more openly.
Get curious about this remarkable person in front of you and put in the effort to try and understand their perspective.
Seek first to understand. Then to be understood. — Dr. Stephen Covey
Consider that every issue you perceive is the result of one or more of your needs not being met.
The need for connection, physical well-being, peace, meaning, autonomy, play.
When we bring this idea into the domain of relationships, it can help us move past surface-level conflict and access a deeper understanding of what truly matters.
Ultimately, greater awareness of our own and others’ needs (and when they are not being met) helps us make more intentional choices.
The earlier in the day I exercise, the better.
It generates an emotional lift that pays dividends throughout the rest of the day.
The longer I put off exercise, the more likely I am to miss the opportunity altogether — I’ll find excuses to not workout at all, or something genuinely important will fill the time.
🔗 There’s no excuse to not get moving in the morning
